Monday, July 14, 2008

To Tell the Truth

What do you do when someone says, “Okay, I’m a direct person and I need to know if you have a problem with this. I’m asking you to tell me how you really feel.” Do you tell the truth?

I was posed a question today by a neighbor over a really minor issue and asked to “be honest”. She feeds our dogs hotdogs and then calls to complain when they go up there and set up camp in her flowerbed (where it’s cooler) to wait for the next weenie to come out handout. So when she asked today if I have a problem with her feeding them, I (thought I) diplomatically said, “It would be better if you don’t do that.” You’d have thought I’d told her to go take a walk on the wild side by her outraged response. I mean she was mad. She loudly proclaimed she is sorry to have us as neighbors and ought to build a big old fence between us. (That would be a feat of engineering!)

My thought is “why did you ask if you didn’t want to know?” What was I supposed to do, lie?

People are interesting. I am reminded that I really hate confrontation. I was certainly not looking for it. Such a minor issue, any way you crack it. Maybe that’s why she has high blood pressure, ya think? I thought I’d feel better if I let myself rant in print. I’m not sure that I do.

Meet the source of this bone of contention. They are fondly known as "the girls."


Uncommon Blonde said...

What a drama queen. Well, since I know more background on this person, I say let her stew - she's kind of a pain anyway. I know your instinct is to reach out and make it better but she's looking for drama and all you are is nice to her. If I were there I'd go throw hot dogs at her (not really). By the way, it looks like Sally should lay off the hot dogs anyway. She's getting chubby!

A wife, a friend, and a nursing student said...

Wow, she sounds pleasant! She sounds like some neighbors I used to have (luckily they moved last year). Do they have any pets? Maybe you could feed her pets and maybe she could see how you feel. sigh. I just shake my head sometimes. I wish you luck with her though.

Merrie said...

Maybe you should offer to pay for half the fence! JK...
I have found that when people ask you to be "honest", that is the last thing they really want. What they want is for you to agree with them.
Th best thing to do is not to take offense (or build a fense)yourself, but to bless her and continue to be a good neighbor - but DON"T go out of your way to obviously try to smooth things out. You don't want to feed the demon/flesh, you want to feed her spirit.
I'd love to say that I have not been there and that I don't know this from experience - having done it wrong and partially right and finally learned. Not that I do it right all the time, but I do think a little more before I jump on the fense...