Thursday, April 30, 2009

Swine and Scorpions and Pit Bulls, OH MY!

It’s not Lions and Tigers and Bears that cause alarm for urban-dwelling Americans. Our modern-day enemies are scarier than anything Dorothy encountered on the road to Oz.

First, let’s talk about swine. My mom has been calling my sister and daughters this week requesting they wear masks for their upcoming plane travel this weekend because of the swine flu scare. (Two are headed to Texas.) Not surprising that none of them plan to do so and I agree that it’s unnecessary. I’ve simply requested they slather themselves head to toe in sanitizer. : )

I know that eating pork isn’t how swine flu is contracted, but while we’re on the subject of pigs, I just have to say that this reminds me why I’ve made it a habit to avoid eating pork for the past 25 years or so. I don’t think you want to hear my harangue on swine flesh so instead I'll give you a definition.

Harangue (v.) [hê-'ræng]
Verbal harassment, a tirade; a ranting uncontrolled preachment or piece of writing focused on a subject of interest only to the speaker or author

If you want to know more about the subject, I recommend a book called Maximum Energy by Ted Broer. Your hair will stand on end when you read his chapter about 10 foods you should never eat.

Second item on my creepy list today is scorpions. I know that warm weather is here to stay since the scorpions are in residence in my mailbox again. ARGHHH! It’s awful to pull out a scorpion with the mail. I haven’t wanted to spray poison in my mailbox because that seems as harmful as scorpions. I killed a big one yesterday and need any eradication tips you may know of.

Pit Bulls are on my scary scallywags list today. The dog and the people who are referred to as pit bulls are defined as behaving in a markedly aggressive or ruthless manner. You don’t have to look farther than today’s headlines to know who they are.

By the way, this year marks the 70th anniversary of The Wizard of Oz. If Dorothy could make it, so can we. Let me go find my pair of Ruby Slippers.


Saleslady371 said...

What a list of creepy things. I lived in a new home in northwestern AZ and had scorpions all the time. We invaded their territory with our building! Scary when your kids are small! This is an interesting post. That book by Broer sounds very interesting!

Sassy Granny ... said...

Yep ... I'll take Toto over a pit bull any day!

We've got scorpions in the west valley of Phoenix too. So far I've not encountered them this year, but we have a great pest control service. The dead ones are my favorite kind!

As Dorothy reminds us: there's no place like home!

Be blessed at home, today and always.


Ballerina Girl said...

Mine are in the closet next to the flip flops and heels ;)
I hope you found yours!


Protege said...

I have only encountered one scorpion in my life; and that was in Tuscany. It was on the wall of the little house I rented with my friends for 10 days and we found it on day one. Lets just say I slept with lights on the rest of the vacation.;)) I would truly hate having one in my mailbox, you are very brave.;))
And don't you just hate all this hype with the swine flue; it is a normal flue and the difference is that is is spreading between the continents. Every year, thousand of people die from ordinary flue and it never makes any headlines.

Greg C said...

I already had my swine flu vaccine back in 1975. Is it still good? If this is bad wait till you see the bovine flu. May I have your share of Pork chops? I got stung by a scoripion and can tell you they hurt like nothing else I have ever felt. It was like my body was on fire. I don't care for pit bulls or agressive people.

Anonymous said...

If you have not already, you and your girls absolutely have to go see Wicked if you are an Oz fan. It was absolutely phenomenal. Granted, my experience is limited, but family members who have seen shows from here to Europe said it was one of the best ever. You all would love it and it makes for a perfect girls trip!