Friday, July 31, 2009

There’s a Longing in My Heart

The pull of the tides. The migration of birds. My pull to be with Rosebud. They’re all on the same par.

Remember the fever of young love that fosters irrational behavior in the effort to spend endless hours together? When you just can’t get enough of that person and others worry that you’re being obsessive?

Those who have preceded me into the grandparent club had told me this would be a marvelous experience. I knew that would be true, but no one mentioned the fever. Who can explain this all-consuming desire to hold this heaven-sent bundle close to my heart and gently rock her as I whisper into her ear of all the wonderful things God has in store for her?

I left there last week and it will only be 2 more weeks until we make the 7 hour drive again and that’s just not working for me. My husband asked, “what do you want to do, move down there?” As a matter of fact I do! My feelings defy reason and logic, but that’s really nothing new.

I’ve wondered if there’s some primitive pull that‘s part of the tradition of verbally transmitting the knowledge of motherhood to the next generation. Mother to daughter, generation after generation. But I have a friend that has sons and I suspect she feels this way too, so that can’t be it.

We’ve hooked up Skype and a webcam on our computers and I do get to see her “live" everyday and talk to her. Uncommon Blonde says I can be a digital Nana when I’m not there and sing her to sleep. That’s cool, but doesn’t allow me to feel her soft baby skin and smell her fresh, sweet scent. Cupcake is still there helping and she’s as smitten as I am. There’s a longing in my heart…


Merrie said...

You said it well! Now you understand why we move halfway across the US to be close to ours. Took early retirement and huge financial cuts... and I gave up financially gainful employment to keep them... they consume my days and many nights.
It is a peace of heaven!

Protege said...

You are just like my mom; ever since my sister had children, she wants nothing more but move down to Switzerland to be close to them. Your longing is very natural, it is the family bond, the instinct that makes you want to be close to the little one for protection and I would say, also to be close to your own daughter, as you feel she might need you now more than ever.:)
The pictures here are absolutely lovely.;)
Wishing you a wonderful weekend,

Uncommon Blonde said...

We miss you SOOOO much!

LisaShaw said...

As a Grandma to two beautiful little girls (Layla is 2 and Rhianna is 1) I can well appreciate how you feel.

What a beautiful and precious baby. I pray the blessings of the LORD over this beautiful bundle of joy.


Linda said...

Oh my...I so understand what you're going through. There is NOTHING that prepares you for being a grandma.

Saleslady371 said...

I so understand your feelings. You are one hour closer than me; it's 8 hours from my house to theirs. We skype, too, and I'm grateful but like you, I want to hold her! Hope your visits get to be frequent.

hlstewart said...

In my case, my mom convinced us to move closer to her, but it took her a few years.

She just left on vacation today and she had to spend the entire day with the boys before she left and I still don't think she was convinced it was the best idea! :-)

Christine said...

You couldn't have said any better.
It is a fever!!!!
I understand the obsession of not getting enough.

Very well said!

Now you have to figure out when you are going to move.

By the way, she is precious.

sara said...

I can't wait for this!

Krista said...

Oh Beverly she is beautiful! Many happy congratulations to you. What a fun new obsession.