Soul Survivors

One of my very best friends is a cancer survivor. She bears the wounds of war with humor and fortitude; the life and death battle changed her in remarkable ways. She has more patience, more joy in the small things, more compassion and more generosity than before her illness. I treasure time spent with her as some of that always rubs off on me.

She wouldn’t have chosen the path of medical treatments that were as life-threatening as the disease she fought. She wouldn’t have chosen the high cost – physically, financially, emotionally – she experienced as she battled to live. But as she fought, her spirit grew strong and she pressed through to a victory that is sweet indeed. She wouldn’t have chosen that path but as she emerged from the darkness, I’m sure she wouldn’t willingly give up what she gained for the chance to erase that journey.

Some call it survivor’s joy; the zest for living that comes from a near-death experience. My question today is, what’s it going to take for each of us to appreciate every day, live fully in the moment and as James Dean said, “Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die tomorrow”?

There’s a sense of urgency in the way these soul survivors live, though it’s not a stressful urgency. It’s more a sense of not being willing to delay any of the important things in life; an ability to discern what’s truly essential for a life well lived. It’s designing a life of no regrets, which means being quick to forgive and slow to become angry. It’s participating by doing the best you can with what you’ve got instead of whining that others have more.

For soul survivors, playing it safe is no longer a viable option. It’s time to push the limits and throw off restraint. You can be authentic and real and if there are those who would judge and disapprove, such is life.

I choose a survivor’s attitude & joy today. Each of us have no doubt survived innumerable tests and battles. May we drink deeply from the cup of courage and step out into a new freedom. Today’s the Day!

* I've been writing for business and this piece was born out of someone telling me that I need to "bury the urgency" when I speak and teach. Can't do it. Don't want to either. If you want to encourage me today, consider subscribing to my Life Notes. (I'll be giving away a book next week to one new subscriber! This is weekly updates from my training business, LifePoint.) This is a shameless plug, but I know you well enough to ask! Have an awesome weekend.

Hush that Fuss

The game is on. Hasn't all of America stopped to watch Tom Tebow lead the Florida Gators in the BCS Championship Game? No?

I don't love watching football on TV. The rivalry in it all has never interested me. In fact it's rather funny to me that I am actually a UF alumni. I moved to Tallahassee right after college and lived among the Seminoles for 21 years which pretty much made me one. Though we don't live there anymore, we've been sending mega money to FSU for the last number of years so I have a real investment in FSU now. I do really like Tebow and so I'm pulling for the Gators. However, the outcome won't determine my mood tomorrow.

I've been working on mood regulation. Though my nature is to be optimistic, I tend to be up, down and all around when it comes to my feelings. So my confession this week is a little song I heard a long time ago: "Don't be moved by what you see, don't be moved by what you feel, but call those things that be not as though they were."

I would go so far as to say that my primary resolution is to make my words be nuggets of encouragement and hope.

Guess who I talk the worst to? Myself. I find it much easier to kind and forgiving to others than toward myself.

I listened to a tele-seminar this week titled "Smart Women, Smart Solutions" with Joy Chudacoff. One tip she gave for staying motivated and encouraged is to read your "Rave Reviews" when you need a lift. I knew exactly what she was referring to, as years ago I started a file folder titled "Warm Fuzzy File". I put notes and cards in there that I've received that have been really encouraging. I still have it but I got out of the habit of using it.

I've been thinking that I need to start an online file of blog comments that have been especially meaningful. What a great resource! I'm pretty sure we all need to find ways to encourage ourselves. We can freely give away that which we have received ourselves. So if you overhear my thoughts and I'm ragging on myself, remind me to hush that fuss! I'll do the same for you. ; )

Note to Self: Older is Happier

I had time to flip through a magazine yesterday when I was in the hair salon. This title grabbed me.

Note to Self: Older is Happier

"Though we as a society extol the years of early adulthood, research studies have demonstrated that younger adults are not as happy as adults in their older years. In later years, the horizon of time has shifted…"

I was called for my appointment before I finished copying the entire quote, but it went on to say that as we get older, we tend to live in the present more than at any time in our lives. When we're young, we often press to the future so hard that we miss things. When we're very old, we tend to live in the past. But right now, I'm in the middle, and I can savor the present. I suppose I haven't totally embraced the whole concept yet in that I take ridiculous pleasure in the fact that I "just" qualify as those in later years. Since my grandmother is 101, I fugure I "just" arrived at middle age at 50. I am encouraged with the thought that I have lots of happiness ahead.

If you want the quote verbatim, it's in September Songs: The Good News about Marriage in the Later Years by Maggie Scarf which will be released Sept. 4.

Rebel with a Cause

There’s a rebel hiding in me. My mother could testify to this for sure. I’m sure my husband could also add a testimony or ten. I rebel selectively, and one thing I tend to rebel over is the medical system. This is a good and a bad thing. Let me explain.

The rebellion is seated in the fact that I think our culture deifies doctors. As in we tend to think they are all knowing, all powerful and hold our lives in their hands. Furthermore, doctors are trained to think linear. Western medicine primarily provides answers along the lines of drugs and surgery. I have a problem with this. Don’t get me wrong, I respect doctors and their education and there are times when I will run to them immediately (i.e. broken bones and such). I also think that in our lawsuit-happy culture, our medical system orders all kinds of tests that cost a gazillion dollars and are preventing the doctor from getting sued, rather than helping me toward better health.

I also think that each of is given wisdom from God as to what our body needs. Of course actually listening is the challenge. I also believe that many answers are found in methods that other cultures tuned into centuries ago, like chiropractic, homeopathy, nutrition and herbs. All that said, I resist conventional health paths. I’m either an intellectual or fruitcake, depending on your perspective.

Bear with me, I’m getting to the story.

When my sibling was diagnosed with cancer 10 years ago, I was told to immediately go have a very unpleasant screening procedure. Didn’t go. Moffat Cancer Center contacted me to participate in a study that was designed to motivate siblings of people with colon cancer. I participated in the study to get the $50 gift card but didn’t go. All along, I told family and medical folks I would go when everyone is supposed to go, when I turn 50.

Yesterday, I went. It wasn’t quite as bad as the procrastination had built it up to be. And it did cost a gazillion dollars, which I would have loved to spend on something pleasant. But I’m so glad it’s behind me now. My rebellion was temporarily tethered. I am super thankful that I got an absolutely clean bill of health and attribute that to God, not anything I’ve done. In parting, the doctor said, “I’ll see you back in 5 years.” And I’m, thinking, “You better make that 10.” Snicker.