While shopping for peaches this weekend, I inquired of the woman at the vegetable stand if she might have some in the back that were bruised and too ripe to have on display. I told her I prefer those for making cobbler. She wanted to know the occasion and it started a conversation about cooking and marriage that inspired me to testify about something that works for me.
I never aspired to be a good cook. I burn something in the kitchen at least weekly and create culinary disappointments on a regular basis. But my family insists I’m a great cook and I suppose 30 years of experience give me that claim to fame. For me, cooking is not about blending the right spices and seasonings to create just the right flavor. It's a way to say, "I love you".
People talk about knowing your spouse’s “love language”. Before I’d ever read Gary Smalley’s book on the subject, I’d figured out how to speak Jim’s love language and it’s not words. The gift of my time is what means the most to him and the gift of my time spent in the kitchen is worth twice as much.
Over the years, I’ve heard more than a few catty remarks from women who don’t understand or appreciate my desire to have a home-cooked dinner on the table for my family every night, ideally at the preferred time of 6 o’clock. They’ve implied that I’m in bondage to some “old school” thinking that demeans women.
If caring enough about the love of my life to speak in his food language that there’s nothing more important to me than him is “old school”, then sign me up for that school, please. It works for me.
Tonight at my house, love smells like peach cobbler. And that’s sweet.
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I've decided to submit this last-minute entry to Scribbit's June Monthly Writing Contest just for the fun of it. The subject this month is food and I can't resist the chance to win a picnic basket that brings back wonderful childhood memories of picnics on a red checkered tablecloth!
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15 comments:
Amen, sister. I agree that preparing meals for the family is speaking love.'Hope you win the basket.
Melanie@Bella~Mella
Love this. And I have a friend that I make peach cobbler every summer for her birthday for this very reason!!
so agree with you ... dinnertime is important at our house and some days it is certainly a struggle. wish i had a piece of your pie :)
I'm so glad you did enter this--as a huge peach cobbler fan I thank you :)
There is something so comforting about it . . .
I am no gourmet, but my kids insist that I am the best cok ever. It's all about the time, the effort, the love, and the memories of conversation and laughter over dinner together. My husband's love language is acts of service, and a good homecooked meal on the table counts for that love language too! And, now I have to say that this Georgia peach has a major craving for peach cobbler (but I am in Japan, where peaches are super expensive)!
Amen!! Sign me up for that school too!
I so resonate with this post, since I, too, like to have a nice dinner on the table every night at 6. Call me (us?) old fashioned, I don't really care.
Even though I entered the contest, too, I like yours better and I hope you win. :)
I do things for my wife that makes others say I am hen pecked but I do them because I know she appreciates the gesture not because I have to do them. Isn't that what being married is all about.
Complete with you on this. Home cooked is the way to go - a huge priority for me and my family. Cobbler sounds delicious! x
I do love to cook! I love creating those unique and different dishes all because I love my family. When Mike worked regular hours I would get up every morning...even when I could sleep in and fix his lunch. Not just a cold sandwich but leftovers saved from the night before or something whipped up that morn so that he would have a good hot lunch complete with drink and a sweet.
It seems silly now that I don;t have to anymore...and can sleep in longer...but I miss doing it.
Thanks for this post!
Pamela
Amen, sister! I love taking care of my husband in the ways he needs; and he loves taking care of me in the ways I need. So we are both well taken care of and well loved too! When women get snide about the fact that I am submissive to my darling, I can't help observing, "Yes, but I'm happy, and you're not!" I don't always say it out loud, of course. But I wake up every morning, look over at his dear face, and get a big, contented smile on my own. That's worth a lot.
I am so in your corner on this, Beverly. A house filled with homemade foods is as equally as important as a briefcase full of successful clients.
I love to serve my family home cooked food and want that to be my legacy of love. They appreciate it. Once my daughter described me on the phone to a college chum "my mother is a cross between Mary Tyler Moore and Donna Reed." We women are free to do both!
I am so in your corner on this, Beverly. A house filled with homemade foods is as equally as important as a briefcase full of successful clients.
I love to serve my family home cooked food and want that to be my legacy of love. They appreciate it. Once my daughter described me on the phone to a college chum "my mother is a cross between Mary Tyler Moore and Donna Reed." We women are free to do both!
I agree with you 100%, we have dinner as a family around the table almost every night. If that's old school then slap that label on me cause I don't care. To many families spend too much time devoted to other things and not on nurturing that connection with each other.
This was a wonderful post and I hope you win the pic-nic basket!
Blessings
R
We're returning to the routine of meals as family time, and it's a good routine. Society as a whole is coming around. Meanwhile, I'll bet those naysayers would positively drool over your peach cobbler!
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